在这一类型的段落展开中,你开始发表一个陈述,然后举出不同的事例来支持这个陈述。这样,和许多其他的段落展开不一样,你必须首先考虑主题句,因为S1, S2, S3, S4,和S5将直接从主题句中展开。这里,选择一个丰富的主题就非常重要,因为这样,你才可以很容易有很多话说。很多时候,许多学生选择他们纯粹感兴趣的话题,这样往往导致他们喜欢这个话题,但是却谈不了多少。这样,选择没太有意思或者不感兴趣,但是却能写出许多有意思的句子的主题就更好了。有些时候,正是我们不喜欢的话题给了我们很多可说的(这也许就是我们为什么更多谈我们的敌人而不是我们的朋友)。
至于其他发展段落的类型,你尽可以从容考虑主题,题目,头脑风暴,构思,初稿,朋友修正的初稿,二稿,另一个朋友修正的二稿和最终的修订稿(在你向写作老师提交段落之前)。这的确需要时间,你不应该想你会在写作课的前一天晚上做所有这些事!给构思留出的空间越多,写作过程训练得越多,最终的产品才会更好。
这里,我将为英语05班的学生写点什么作为例子, “I know that I miss my old students.”
Development by: Example.
Written by: SVW.
Topic: SVW misses his old students in English 05 Class.
Title: “I know that I miss my old students.”
Brainstorming: Feelings–loneliness–staring out window–associations–the weather–voices in dreams–forget things–follow inner “clock”–see faces–recollections–feelings, with different classes–past laughter–past quarrels–happiness–boredom–jokes–more faces–the naughty students–quiet ones–home works–unfamiliar life, here–miss XJ–different culture–telephone calls–confuse people “here”, with “there”–jokes, only you can understand–memories for no reason–unhappy loneliness–talks with friends–want to fly back to XJ–late-night phone calls–IP cards, all used up–collect magazines–write this book–faces in dreams–recollections–regrets–distracted mind, at times–misunderstood, here–ask for news–plastic flowers, window–red scarf, warm coat–talking, “cell” phones–late or undone home works–sit up in bed–thinking a lot–do not eat my food–lost in mind–unhappy for no reason–cannot explain to father–counting days–wait for e-mails–realize, past good.
这个头脑风暴部分很长,许多我写下来的东西和直接主题—“I know that I miss my old students”没有关系。但是这并没有关系。首先,当你进行头脑风暴时,你不应该过滤想法;你应该让所有的事情都写下来,越来越多,直到没有任何可写的;这就好象被一个男孩子甩掉,你不停哭泣,然后洗完澡以后继续哭泣,直到没有任何眼泪。一旦你有了所有这些原材料,你就有展开段落的足够素材,或者你还可以用这些素材写别的段落。其次,你可以在头脑风暴结束以后,筛选这些原材料;不要在头脑风暴的过程中这样做,否则你的思路就会被打断,有些思考很难再次连接起来。所以想出所有想法,然后评定信息,一旦写在纸上,这些都属于你,而且非常有用。
在你进行正文写作时,你应该选择一个简要的短语作为主题句—毕竟,这是按照举例来开展段落,你需要知道你从什么开始,试试这个:
TS: Miss students, strange changes.
这里有太多信息,你没有必要使用所有的。好的写作不是关于你到底说了什么,因为每个人都努力大喊,让他们的声音能够被听到;好的写作是关于你没有说的。因此,不要觉得你必须用上所有头脑风暴过程中所想到的素材。
然后再寻找“模式”。在原始材料中有没有一种模式?我提议使用以下的模式:
Inner feelings–behavior now–various communications–past memories–future plans.
这些模式没有按照什么顺序排列,我只是很快地写下来,在纸上写下,这是最先要做的,如下:
(#1) Inner feelings–(#3) behavior now–(#4) various communications–(#2) past memories–(#5) future plans.
为什么要这样?如果你学习这四个“模式”,你会发现它们可以被分为三组:你脑海中所想(#1 and #2),你现在正做的(#3 and #4),和你将要做的(#5)。
在五张小废纸片上写下以上的部分,然后就好象玩牌一样在桌上重新排列这些小纸片。有时候,用电脑来选首先进入脑海和最好剩下的。不过你自己决定:
并且,你能够用“两个词 ”的方法,(例如“过去的/回忆”);这种经过小心选择的词组记录信息的方法虽然简短,但是却承载很多意思。
千万,千万,不要在这里就开始写句子。如果你这样做了,你就太早陷入语言结构,那么以后就很难改变你的思维方式。所以,在构思这个阶段只能运用“最少”的语言结构。
你可以向下面这样写下段落构思:
Plan outline:
[TS] Miss students, strange changes.
[S1] Inner feelings.
[S2] Past memories.
[S3] Behavior now.
[S4] Various communications.
[S5] Future plans.
[CS] Cannot now, daily choices.
这个构思非常“贫乏”,由此,你可以展开许多不同类型的句子。我觉得现在不用急着写,让“构思”和“草稿”之间留出一写时间,这些时间有时候很有帮助。
以下段落句子非常简单:
Paragraph Text:
[TS] I miss my students, and I know this because there are strange changes in my life.
[S1] In my inner feelings, I am often sad and depressed.
[S2] The past memories, of the time I spent with 05 Class, are often in my mind.
[S3] Although I am living here in this land, I act as if I never left XJ, or am planning to return in a few days.
[S4] I constantly send letters to old students, or call them on the telephone.
[S5] I am always making future plans for the next time in XJ.
[CS] I cannot go away now, as I must carry on with life here; however, I look forward to the future.
以下是相同内容的段落,但是句子更长,更复杂。你选择自己喜欢的方式展开段落。
Paragraph Text:
[TS] I often miss my former students in 05 Class, and I know this is happening, because there have been many strange changes in my recent life.
[S1] Deep inside my inner feelings, where nobody can see me, I am often sad and depressed; as I stand by the windows, watching spring touch the land, my heart remains in a state of lingering winter.
[S2] All the many memories of the past few years, of the times I spent with different classes in 05, are often in my brooding mind.
[S3] Even though I live in this land day by day, I behave in most things as if I had never left XJ; my body is here, but my heart and my intentions are there.
[S4] Almost every morning and evening, I will send a letter to some old friend, or call a former student on the telephone.
[S5] There is not a day which goes by, in which I am constantly making future plans for the next trip or teaching contract somewhere.
[CS] I realize that I cannot “go away” now, as there are certain things to do here; I still look forward to the future, and the possibility of seeing Class 05 again.