From other people.

Submitted by jenny on Sun, 05/06/2012 - 05:56

 

  1. Workmates.  First: Usually, in a work unit or office, there is one person who you can trust and cooperate with; this person may even share your desire to really develop their English.  However, they are not a friend, not a language partner, not a confidante-in-English, but a “seasonal ally”.  I say this because the work zone is far too “political” to do otherwise… and so are they!  When it comes to job and income, everybody has a “lean and hungry look”.  You can cooperate with this ally on the various “English challenges” which are forever entering your work unit’s atmosphere: something needs to be translated, a newspaper article is “not quite understood” by the boss, a chapter from an out-of-date textbook needs to be updated for today’s usage, an English exam needs to be written.  You two can cooperate on such ventures—especially the ones which the other teachers do not want—and in time, you will develop your English abilities in some area.  Note: Prepare to work hard.  In time, you will both develop a reputation in the work unit, and other people may start “outsourcing” their problems to you.  Second: You do not find this person by asking your colleagues or by advertising among them—you need to “screen” this person.  Let life’s common circumstances bring up incidents through which you can evaluate prospects.  Then, “recruit” them.  Be wary of those who try to recruit you—unless they have been screened and you know they have similar interests to you.  What you are looking for is a relationship of convenience, based on common interests.  Third: Do not allow this relationship to penetrate into your personal and vulnerable life; you may regret it. 
  2. Roommates.  If you have a roommate already, you might want to leave this relationship alone—this is your own room, your home, your “nest” that we are talking about.  If you are without a roommate and looking for one, what about looking for an “English-only” roommate?  (i.e., another Chinese person who also wants to use real English in real life, daily situations.)  Perhaps you can advertise.  Of course, make sure that the usual “interpersonal” criteria make you suitable for each other.  Make sure that their English level is similar to yours: this is an English-based living experience, not a teaching assignment!  Then, master, translate and use everything your life together brings you—into English.  Choose same-sex roommates only, or you will lose focus very quickly. 
  3. Classmates.  I still think you should keep your college classmates “off-limits” as, along with your blood family, they are your only prime source of “social capital”.  You do not want to alienate or lose them! 
  4. Old English teacher.  Most teachers want to know how their ex-students are doing, and some still like to “direct” them if invited.  Let them!  Most teachers cannot teach you as they used to, since they are busy with their new students, but they are willing to give advice.  They can be consultants.  Please do the following when you call them:  Identify yourself clearly by name, class, city, college, and a distinguishing trait of yours—teachers do forget names, but most really do want to be kind, helpful and compassionate.  Here is an example: “Hello, Mr./Ms. (Jones). This is (Zhang Hong Mei), from class number (9801), in (Urumqi), at (Vocational University).  Do you remember me?  I used to sit next to (Li Wen Ge) and pulled her hair!”  Also, keep your request simple and short!  (K.I.S.S.—“Keep It Simple, Short!”)  Give your teacher your telephone number, letter address, e-mail address, as well as any important class news you think they should know.  If you are writing back and forth, include an extra, addressed (return) envelope for your teacher’s total convenience when she/he wants to write back to you—include it as part of your letter.  Do this EVERY TIME you write to your old teacher!!!  Remember, most foreign teachers CANNOT, CANNOT, CANNOT write in the Chinese language (han zi) on an envelope!  You must do this for them every, every, every time—or they cannot write back!  Write your own address completely (not half of it!), and their address clearly, following correct envelope-writing format.  As a foreign teacher, I invite my old students to continue sending me their compositions, so I can proofread and correct them.  Then, I return their homework easily, because they have also given me an addressed, return envelope.  If you have this kind of ongoing relationship with your old teacher, it is very good! 
  5. Boyfriend/girlfriend.  Hey!  I have a wild, crazy idea.  If you really do care about learning English on the go, on your own, without a foreign teacher…why not find someone who also shares your views, your hopes, your dreams?  I mean, just how much of your life are you going to give this person?  Or, how much do you plan to hide?  Many famous writers in British and American literature were partly successful or brought to ruin, to the extent that their spouses supported or hindered them.  The “call” to some revolutionary cause is often killed off by an unwilling or opposing partner.  Make no mistake about this.  “Tong chuang yi meng” is for real.  So, you can “act out your dream with open eyes” together, and make it happen.  If your partner is not as enthusiastic about your ideas as you, at least get their permission to allow you to “do what you need to do”.  Otherwise, consider leaving them. 
  6. Husband/wife.  As with the above, if you have a similar-minded spouse, you can take this “bilingual venture” to its ultimate conclusion.  You can try anything.  If not, well… you compromise, as you must.  If your spouse agrees, you can have a bilingual household, with every part of your life arranged accordingly—friends, books, meetings, movies, part-time home jobs (tutoring; internet-enabled jobs, such as proofreading and editing, or writing), hobbies, cooking, phone calls, and on and on.  You also have each other to discover and know all over again.  Then there is your family….
  7. Children.  I will not try to explain bilingual home education here, because I cannot, but it seems there are some wonderful opportunities for establishing language foundations for your children here.  Please note: I am not talking about stuffing your poor little child into some trendy, competitive, and accelerated program designed to launch your child into greatness and the college of your choice.  I am referring to one thing, and one thing only—growing up bilingually (and “normally”).  The aim is not to end up speaking like some foreign child, but to have a fully working knowledge of everyday English.  Upon this long-prepared foundation, anything can happen.  So, what do you do?  Here are some ideas: make English a working part of your household, not a “status toy” or a springboard to college.  Do not associate English with progress, or “social climbing”, or survival; associate it with your everyday, working life.  When the fundamentals of English have been learned, read bedtime stories—every night, until they enter college.  This last, simple act has a profound effect on their language development.  Fill your house with music, printed material, visitors speaking both languages, as well as love. 
  8. People from your local neighborhood.  If there are a few other people in your local neighborhood who also like English, you might agree to meet once a month in someone’s house.  Such a meeting could be more a “discussion group” or a focused “free-talk”—not an open “English corner”.  This part is very important.  You should control who comes to a few people of similar ability—“members” agree not to invite strangers, un-vetted visitors, or people of lower or higher English ability.  The aim is to develop and maintain what you have (and your friends’, too), to use it in a small-group setting, talking about real-life issues taking place around you in your neighborhood.  Such talks have nothing to do with “learning English”, or “preparing to go to America”, or the usual topics brought up in typical college “free talks”.  From this beginning, you decide where to go next, if at all. 
  9. English “parasites”.  Either tell them to go away and leave you alone, or find out their approximate English level and suggest they find a college student to teach them.  Either way, get rid of them! 
  10. Dead-end relationships.  You can do the same here, but be kinder towards them, and make more of an effort to link them up with a college student.  Just because they will go nowhere with you does not mean that they have their own valid destination.  You were there, once. 
  11. “Turkeys”.  Avoid them like the plague.  Under no circumstances let them into your dreams of a life of better English. 
  12. Unfriendly foreigners.  If you are “blown off”, you have basically two choices—quarrel, or help them out.  The second is better.  If you know what they need, then you have a basis for communication with them.  If you don’t know them or their problem, you can quickly ask, “Do you need any help?  I am not an English parasite.”  Then wait.  If the foreigner still blows you off, let it go.  If he says yes, then try to help—if you can.  Stay on the topic of what he needs, help him, leave—and smile.  You have just had an “authentic English experience”!  Here is the secret: if you know the foreigner’s needs, you have a chance to help, and through helping, to talk.  Otherwise, you are just a nuisance to them.  Remember, foreigners like their privacy, the way Chinese people like their “face”—it is one of the most important things they value.  If you are talking to them for your benefit and not their needs (unless they are letting or inviting you), you are treating them as an “English milk cow”, and you are behaving like a parasite! 
  13. No encouragement.  You do need encouragement.  Even the strongest, toughest fighter needs to be told supportive words or given acts of edification.  First: is there someone out there who will listen to you under most or all circumstance, who will let you put your head onto their lap (as it were) and fall asleep?  (I speak figuratively—and for some of you readers, literally.)  This person does not need to be an English speaker—anyone with “the right heart” will do just fine.  You can share with this person your struggles, your joys, your failures, your achievements in your lifelong quest to master the English language.  At times, they will keep you going onwards.  Second: this is the place where, for some, the consolations of religion are sustaining and vital.  Third: for the transcendentalists and nature-lovers among you, perhaps it is not a person who refreshes you, but a place that revives you.  When I was in college, I would leave the campus and walk through the woods for about twenty minutes until I came to a clearing behind someone’s house. There was a small vegetable garden in the middle of the clearing.  The vegetables were carelessly planted and neglected, long grass and other weeds grew right up to the earth of the seldom tended garden beds, and the trees of the forest stood by thickly on the edge of the unshaved and grassy area—watching and waiting to come in again.  I have not been back there for twenty years, but I carry it deep in my heart, as you might the picture of your sweetheart, for it was and is the resting place of my tired, wandering, restless and weary soul.  I found a kind of encouragement there.  Fourth: I mention these three “places” with one aim in mind—that you may find a place of encouragement on the English-road you are traveling, so that you may have the “joy of the journey”.  It is necessary. 
  14. No support.  If you need support of some kind, then try and find it.  However, you must take care you are not let down—or even betrayed—by those you trust.  Some people however like to operate without support—it gives them a high degree of independence and flexibility, as well as freedom from the constraints of “accountability”, responsibility, and betrayal.  Find what is suitable for you.  Choose two, three, or more sources of support coming from different “sectors” of your life; in other words, “diversify” as you would when buying stocks.  Allow no link or communication between your support members—keep them apart from each other, to avoid betrayal or other problems from spreading. 
  15. Public opinion.  On the one hand, do not pay much attention to what other people are saying about you.  On the other hand, try to stay out of the public eye; keep a “low profile”.  There are two types of “turkey”—active and passive.  The active turkeys are really dangerous because they are hunting for people like you.  The passive turkeys only respond to what they see or hear; so, if you keep quiet, you will not often be troubled by their “public opinion”. 
  16. Other people’s vision is imposed on you.  If your boss or supervisor is telling you “how to do it”, then you have a problem.  You cannot quarrel and risk losing your job!  However, remember this: even if you do not agree with the philosophy of what you are being asked to do, you can do it because it represents an opportunity to use English to do something new and unfamiliar.  In every experience, there must be some room somewhere to learn something new.  It is a “learning experience”.  One other thing: if you become a boss or a supervisor, please do not treat other people in the same way! 
  17. The cult of conformity.  Be yourself: either openly, with struggle; or, under cover and behind a “front”.  Either way, do what you need to do, to be who you want to be. 
  18. The cult of mediocrity.  Do not become part of such a movement, in your life or at the workplace!  It will poison you.  If you put your best efforts into what you do, usually there will be a payback, a reward—praise from the boss, improvement in your English, and hostile stares from your colleagues.  Your pursuit of English is a noble cause—therefore, give it your best.  As one old teacher said to my classmates—“Holy shoddy” is still…“shoddy”.  Even English performed in a spirit of laziness is trash. 
  19. On competition.  There is only one competition you need to get involved in—the struggle to be better today than you were yesterday, and to be better still tomorrow.  Avoid struggles against other people, especially if it detracts you from your English studies.  One final thing: do not get involved in struggles and competition with your classmates, especially when you are all about to graduate and are furiously looking for jobs.  The price you will pay and the loss of “social capital” you will suffer will far, far outweigh anything you might have won from your first job! 
  20. On betrayal.  There is only one betrayal you need to be afraid of or ashamed of—the betrayal of your dreams and plans to master the English language by…yourself.  As for other people, you can help protect yourself by cultivating friends in different circles who do not know each other.  Finally, accept the fact that low-grade betrayal is always going on in most work offices or teachers’ common rooms.  Don’t let this distract you from learning English; avoid “political” entanglement! 
  21. Individual initiative is pushed down.  If you work in a place where thinking for oneself is discouraged, what should you do?  If you are not willing to confront the system or to change jobs, you can hold your tongue at work and express your individual character and creativity when you are at home.  Perhaps you can express yourself inside the school’s standards using the “freedom within limits” approach.  Whichever way you choose, use it as a means to achieve your end—the ongoing pursuit of the mastery of English. 
  22. The problem of envious opposition from others.  There will always be people who look down on others who adopt or study foreign things—or a foreign language.  Yes, in the catalog they go for “colleague”; as cynics and critics, gossipers, flatterers, false, sly, back-stabbers, and two-faced are called all by the name of “adversary”.  Perhaps the best thing is to strictly practice your English within the requirements and projects laid down by your boss.  Save your real creativity for the time you study at home!  Such people will always be there to test you and trouble you.  Bypass them. 
  23. Conclusion.  In summary, there will always be other people to make trouble for you as you go forward in your English studies.  Some can help you directly, some can be “worked with” to derive you some form of benefit, and others should be avoided.  As for you, go forward.